Taming the Naysayers

Do you ever feel like you can’t get the naysayers in your head to be quiet? Incessant thoughts of self-doubt just won’t go away, leaving you feeling fused to destructive thoughts. At some point, we’ve all experienced this. We truly can be our worst enemy when we cannot separate ourselves from our thoughts. Often, the naysayers in our heads are chipping away at our confidence to be a good leader, manage through difficult conversations, try something new, say the right thing to a child in a challenging situation, and so on.

Someone once told me about a diffusion technique that helps you gain control of the thoughts in your mind. This technique calls for us to visualize a river running through the mind and to imagine thoughts as leaves floating down the river – taking the power away from them and separating your thoughts from oneself. I have tried this, and it did not work for me! Those naysayers in my head are loud and not as gentle and calm as a leaf floating down a river.

Thoughts like stars in the sky

On my quest to conquer those pesky naysayers, I came across an article that presented a similar but different diffusion technique. It called for me to think of the whirling thoughts in my mind as stars in the sky. When a thought pops into my head, I give it a label- good, bad, neutral. Then I visualize it getting closer to the sun as it orbits, like a star in the sky, and then it shoots off to the sun and disintegrates – disappearing. This technique, similar to the leaves floating down a river, takes the power away from negative thoughts. Negative, positive, and neutral thoughts all carry the same importance. They flow through my mind, appearing and disappearing, but they are never fused directly to me.

This technique takes the power away from the thoughts, ultimately stripping them of influence on my actions. I can then give power to actions that align with my goals, priorities, and values, positively impacting my overall mental well-being. The mind is our most powerful tool, and just as we care for our bodies, we must also care for our minds.

If you are new to mental well-being, here are a few interesting resources to help you tame the naysayers in your mind:

If you are interested in trying out meditation, here is an 8-minute meditation.

Here is an article with a few additional techniques to try: http://fearlessleadersgroup.com/blog/having-a-mind-like-a-river/